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ME:

NOT ME:

Is there a reason I carry an exceptionally large purse? Yes. A few reasons. Reason number one: a larger purse makes me look smaller. Newlywed weight be darned! Reason number two: I carry a lot of stuff. I do this because I never know when I will need item A, B, or C. And in the event I want item A and it is missing… well… this is why I carry a large purse.

Yesterday  I was digging for something, the electric bill? My wallet? I peeked into the bottom of the bottomless pit. I almost needed a flashlight, it was so far down there. Here’s what I found:

– $00.92 (change)
– Six bobby pins
– A bottle of eye drops
– Three tubes of mascara (yes, three)
– A guitar pick (belonging to Mr., not to me)
– A straw
– One hot pink blank sticky note, no longer sticky.
– Four coupons to my favorite store.
– 8 gig jump drive

I can’t really hold up an argument that each and every one of those items was needed at the bottom of my purse, but there’s always that “what if?”. What if it’s a very windy day, and I need to use the bobby pins?  What if it’s so windy that I need eye drops to moisten my eyeballs? What if I get a soda (I don’t drink soda) at drive-through, and they forget to give me a straw? What if my husband drives to my work to woo me with a lovely new song he wrote to profess his love for me (again), and he forgets a guitar pick? What if I cry so hard during the song, that I need to reapply my mascara? I’ll then need to write down my favorite line from the song on that hot pink un-sticky note, and quickly plug-in my 8 gig jump drive to type up the lyrics. Then he will tell me he loves me so much that I can go on a shopping spree after work, and use all four coupons at my favorite store, and the total amount due will of course be $00.92.

There. I think I just convinced myself that my oversized purse is completely justifiable.

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