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Every year it’s the same story. When I was single, I’d text or email my mom and tell her I was getting married, or that I was pregnant.
I’d tell my friends something stupid like “I dropped your phone in the toilet,” “I wiped out your bank account (or I lost your ATM card)…”.

I ‘m not a very good April Foods Day-er. When I was six and I tried to put the sugar in the salt container, and the salt in the sugar container. All I wound up doing was making a big mess, and getting grounded. After that I resorted to ALD. April lies day. Lying has always been easier than thinking up pranks.

Then I became responsible for one of many of my parents’ premature heart attacks (the pregnancy lie especially) and I couldn’t stand the thought of causing them such pain. I saw gray hairs pop out of my dad’s ears when he heard that I flunked out of college, (another ALD trick) so I said to myself, “Enough is enough.”

As boring as it might seem, I’m just going to lay low for AFD this year. No clear-plastic-wrap on the toilet seats. No toothpaste inside of Oreos, no lies.

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